Laugh, Learn, and Outsmart Lowball Offers with Proven Oakland County Seller Strategies
By Tom Gilliam, RE/MAX Classic
Selling your Oakland County home is exciting—until a lowball offer throws you for a loop. As a local REALTOR with years of experience, I know how tough these offers can be. While I always keep it professional, I also know every seller sometimes dreams of replying with a little sarcasm.
Let’s keep things light: Here are seven funny ways you secretly wish you could respond to a lowball offer—and what you should actually do to get top dollar.
1. Send Them a “Go to Jail” Monopoly Card
If we’re using Monopoly money, we might as well stick to the rules! Sometimes a “Go to Jail” card says it all: offers that low should be a crime.
2. “Meet in the Middle”? Only If I Double My Price
Some buyers want to "meet in the middle.” I’ll always negotiate for you, but wouldn’t it be fun to say: “Gladly—once I double my price!”
3. Mail Them an Old-School Calculator
If your offer is stuck in 1999, maybe your calculator is too. I’ve seen sellers wish they could send one with this note: “Try this. Yours is broken.”
4. Home Décor Gift: Framed Offer for Their Own House
A lowball offer can double as artwork—print it, frame it, and send it back. “Here’s some décor for your current home (because you’ll probably be staying there).”
5. Ask for a Ride in Their Time Machine
If we could all go back to when homes were $100K, every seller would be happy! Add, “Let me hop in your DeLorean—I’d love 2005 real estate prices again.”
6. Send a Spotify Playlist That Says It All
Sometimes, all you can do is shake your head and send them this:
- “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” – The Rolling Stones
- “Dream On” – Aerosmith
- “Bye Bye Bye” – *NSYNC
7. Counteroffer With an Expired Coupon
Make a joke counter: “$100,000 off any home purchase! (Expired June 2009).” Circle the expiration date—and thank them for the memory!
The Real Deal: How Oakland County Sellers Should Actually Respond
Laughter helps, but experience wins. Here’s what actually works when selling your home:
- Study current Oakland County market data so you set the right asking price.
- Use my in-depth neighborhood insight. Learn more about my local experience.
- Stay cool—don’t let emotions take over. Let a pro guide the counter or negotiation.
- Get your instant home value estimate before you list!
Not sure how to handle a lowball buyer? Read what it means on Investopedia or see tips from The National Association of Realtors.
FAQ: Oakland County Seller Questions
How should I respond to a lowball offer?Stay polite and negotiate. Counter with your best price, or ask your Realtor for the right strategy. Never respond emotionally.
Should I accept the first offer I receive?Not always. Consult your agent, compare offers, and review contingencies and buyer strength.
How do I know my home’s real value?Check both local sales data and a professional home valuation.
Ready to List Your Oakland County Home?
Don’t settle for less. Contact Tom Gilliam at RE/MAX Classic today for a free consultation, straight talk, and real results.
Call: 248-790-5594
Email: [email protected]
Share this guide and help fellow sellers keep their sense of humor—while you all get the price you deserve!