Laugh, Learn, and Outsmart Lowball Offers with Proven Oakland County Seller Strategies

By Tom Gilliam, RE/MAX Classic

Selling your Oakland County home is exciting—until a lowball offer throws you for a loop. As a local REALTOR with years of experience, I know how tough these offers can be. While I always keep it professional, I also know every seller sometimes dreams of replying with a little sarcasm.

Let’s keep things light: Here are seven funny ways you secretly wish you could respond to a lowball offer—and what you should actually do to get top dollar.

1. Send Them a “Go to Jail” Monopoly Card

If we’re using Monopoly money, we might as well stick to the rules! Sometimes a “Go to Jail” card says it all: offers that low should be a crime.

2. “Meet in the Middle”? Only If I Double My Price

Some buyers want to "meet in the middle.” I’ll always negotiate for you, but wouldn’t it be fun to say: “Gladly—once I double my price!”

3. Mail Them an Old-School Calculator

If your offer is stuck in 1999, maybe your calculator is too. I’ve seen sellers wish they could send one with this note: “Try this. Yours is broken.”

4. Home Décor Gift: Framed Offer for Their Own House

A lowball offer can double as artwork—print it, frame it, and send it back. “Here’s some décor for your current home (because you’ll probably be staying there).”

5. Ask for a Ride in Their Time Machine

If we could all go back to when homes were $100K, every seller would be happy! Add, “Let me hop in your DeLorean—I’d love 2005 real estate prices again.”

6. Send a Spotify Playlist That Says It All

Sometimes, all you can do is shake your head and send them this:

• “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” – The Rolling Stones
• “Dream On” – Aerosmith
• “Bye Bye Bye” – *NSYNC

7. Counteroffer With an Expired Coupon

Make a joke counter: “$100,000 off any home purchase! (Expired June 2009).” Circle the expiration date—and thank them for the memory!

The Real Deal: How Oakland County Sellers Should Actually Respond

Laughter helps, but experience wins. Here’s what actually works when selling your home:

• Study current Oakland County market data so you set the right asking price.
• Use my in-depth neighborhood insight. Learn more about my local experience.
• Stay cool—don’t let emotions take over. Let a pro guide the counter or negotiation.
• Get your instant home value estimate before you list!

Not sure how to handle a lowball buyer? Read what it means on Investopedia or see tips from The National Association of Realtors.

FAQ: Oakland County Seller Questions

Ready to List Your Oakland County Home?

Don’t settle for less. Contact Tom Gilliam at RE/MAX Classic today for a free consultation, straight talk, and real results.
Call: 248-790-5594
Email: [email protected]

Share this guide and help fellow sellers keep their sense of humor—while you all get the price you deserve!